Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] Newbie with questions about safety

From: Hilary Tuttle <hilary_at_binteractive.com>
Date: Fri Dec 1 20:49:01 2006

Hey Naomi,

I can hear and relate to your concern and fear for your child's safety. But
I have to tell you what you and me and all people who have loved ones
desire, namely to keep those loved ones safe, is impossible.

Short very sad story....My best friend who lives in Tulsa, OK had a
beautiful, perfect little girl. Right around her third birthday she picked
up a virus. Fortunately she felt just fine for her party and had a great
time opening presents and playing with her friends. Sadly, so sadly 4 days
later she was dead, the virus raced through her body destroying her heart
and liver. She died in her mother's and father's arms in the bed she was
born in.

Really for the most part we can do nothing to avert the tragedies that
snatch our loved ones from our lives. We only have the moment, this moment
to live as fully and as well as we can. Now I'm not saying you don't teach
your child to NEVER run into the road or stay away from strangers.....What I
am saying is that because I can't control that danger I want to make sure
that I support, provide, allow the richest moment to moment life for my
children possible.

Hilary Tuttle
SVS parent

On 12/1/06, Naomi Rivkis <nrivkis_at_yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> Hi, all. I've just discovered this list after a lot of
> reading, both online and in books, about Sudbury-model
> schools. I wish I'd had one when I was a kid; I did
> most of my learning in my alleged off-hours by myself
> or with friends. I suspect most kids do, who have to
> go to ordinary schools. My schools were mostly not
> bad, exactly -- my high school was pretty good, in
> that it had some really interesting kids and a lot of
> free time to do what we wanted if we could do it
> responsibly. And some of what was taught, I wanted to
> learn, and so I did. But I would have loved the chance
> to do more, and I would have loved *not* to have my
> views of certain subjects poisoned by several years of
> sitting through them when I wasn't ready or
> interested. So I want something better for my kids.
>
> Both my children are too young for the local
> Sudbury-model school (Fairhaven; we live in Silver
> Spring); one is a baby, the other is in a Montessori
> preschool, which at least has some of the elements of
> individual choice. But I'm learning what I can ahead
> of time, and impressed with what I've learned. It's
> *scary* to have to keep pushing out of my head the
> stuff that "everyone says" about education, but when I
> compare what I've heard against what I see when I
> actually observe kids -- heck, observe any people --
> with my own eyes, I have to trust the latter, scary or
> not.
>
> The one concern I do have is about physical safety. I
> want my kids to learn self-reliance, but I'd rather
> they live to reach it!! I want them to make their own
> mistakes and grow from them, but only those mistakes
> that don't have such extreme consequences that they'll
> never grow again. I can't imagine this isn't a primary
> concern of all parents, and since everything else
> about Sudbury schools feels right to me, I want to
> know how this fits in.
>
> I'm not worried about tumbles out of trees. I grew up
> on an island where three-quarters of the land was
> fenced off as allegedly dangerous, and the kids
> climbed the fence and played there anyway. Most of
> what grownups consider safety hazards are basically
> bruise-hazards or maybe, at the worst, broken-arm type
> hazards. If I'm willing to let my daughter play
> soccer, or ride horses (and I am), I'm willing to let
> her have the run of a reasonably well-kept campus with
> various Big Objects on it. If she falls off, she'll
> cry, and she'll get band-aids or whatever, and she'll
> get up again.
>
> But I'm worried about water, and I'm worried about the
> outside, where people are not as trustworthy as they
> are on campus. I don't know whether, at five or six,
> my kids will know how to swim, or be able to climb a
> log above the stream well enough to keep from falling
> in. I don't know if they will be able to cross a
> highway with a good enough eye to measure the speed of
> oncoming traffic. And I'm damn sure that they won't be
> able to negotiate with strange adults who mean them
> harm.
>
> My husband's brother, for whom my son was named, died
> at the age of eight, hit by a truck when he ran into
> the road chasing a ball. Not very long ago, a pair of
> snipers went around shooting random passersby in my
> own neighborhood; their favorite places were just
> outside of schools. I love what I hear of Fairhaven,
> but I'm afraid. How does complete freedom of movement,
> especially in very young kids and those who are very
> new to such freedom, combine with making as sure as is
> reasonably possible that the kids survive to make use
> of their freedom at all?
>
> Naomi
>
>
>
>
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-- 
Hilary Tuttle
Tuttle Muscular Therapy
173 Mt. Auburn Street
Watertown, MA 02472
(617) 926-4463
http://www.tmtonline.com
Received on Fri Dec 01 2006 - 20:48:35 EST

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