RE: [Discuss-sudbury-model] 7 Lessons Taught in School

From: Hughes <>
Date: Tue Nov 28 20:46:00 2006

My children, who attended SVS for 16 years, made it abundantly clear that
they did not want me to have any part of their SVS experience, especially
the first year. There was a palpable thrill they got each and every fall
that they were going into their world, their place, their own experience.
There were a number of instances throughout the years where my kids were
affected by the presence of another student's parent who had an agenda. I
rather enjoyed their indignation that their rights had been infringed upon.
To them it was definately not okay. Dang, if that isn't why I sent them
there. Somehow it's hard to picture self-goverance with mommy and daddy
there. I teach private music lessons. I truly cannot do it with a parent
in the room. It is their very inability to separate the child's experience
from their own that gets in the way. They are watching for manners, how
clever is the kid, how can they assist by knowing the lesson, etc. It is
always a total disaster. I am, on the other hand focusing on how does this
student think, what music do they like, capturing their imagination, etc.
I'm wondering if a parent who wants to be a lot involved with the school
experience could ever be happy with SVS. Just my opinion

Carol Hughes


[] On Behalf Of Marilu Diaz
Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2006 3:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Discuss-sudbury-model] 7 Lessons Taught in School

The fact that you are able to witness your natural children's behavior when
interacting with others (in your presence) would proof that you don't have
to disappear from their sight (or daily life) in order for them to feel
comfortable being themselves even while you are around.

I believe that every child must be able to choose if he/she wants to have
the parents around. Some children feel very comfortable hanging around
their parents or adult family (and a lot of families provide the freedom,
acceptance and support of them as individuals through non-judgmental


[] On Behalf Of Caren
Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2006 1:38 PM
Subject: Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] 7 Lessons Taught in School


I don't see it as "protecting" them from me. We are currently unschooling. I
have seen first-hand how differently my boys act when not around me -- it's
just a fact of life. We have a wonderful, open relationship - aided by the
unschooling process, and now through consensual living ( ) but the fact remains, they are their own
people, and my presence affects their behavior.


I think the history of Sudbury Valley School speaks for itself in this
regard. The autonomy of the child is paramount, and because of the
inherently dependent relationship kids have with their parents, it would be




in Charlotte, NC



On Nov 28, 2006, at 12:16 PM, wrote:


This distresses me also. There is an unspoken assumption

that children need to be protected from their parents -- the

very people who love and care about them the most. This

mindset exemplifies a lack of trust and faith in the laws

of nature and in the importance of human's trusting themselves

to do what is correct for their children. How can we ignore the

heap of anthropological studies which show historically how

children thrive and flourish as they grow up along side of their

parents - without being "protected" by any institution!


Received on Tue Nov 28 2006 - 20:45:47 EST

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