Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] 7 Lessons Taught in School

From: Caren Knox-Hundley <carenkh_at_earthlink.net>
Date: Tue Nov 28 16:02:00 2006

To clarify, in each instance, they didn't know I was watching them. lol

Despite providing TONS of freedom, acceptance and support, living
consensually, non-judgementally, etc., despite their comfort level at
hanging around with me (oldest son and I are going to a ska/punk
concert together later tonight), there are times they NEED and WANT
time away from me -- oldest son especially. My guess is that a child
who didn't want that time away wouldn't want to attend a Sudbury School.

When my son was younger, I believed as you do -- that if I'm not
squashing his freedom to be himself in any way, if we're living
consensually, why would he push me away? And the truth is, there's
no pushing at all going on. He enjoys time with me when we're
together, but to realize and explore fully who he is, he needs time
with just his peers. It's been a natural progression - and he was a
VERY attached child when he was younger.

He *is* himself when he's around me... but he feels more free to
explore who he's *becoming* with his peers. That's just a guess.
I'm not a psychologist or anthropologist.

peace,
Caren

On Nov 28, 2006, at 3:29 PM, Marilu Diaz wrote:

> The fact that you are able to witness your natural childrenís
> behavior when interacting with others (in your presence) would
> proof that you donít have to disappear from their sight (or daily
> life) in order for them to feel comfortable being themselves even
> while you are around.
>
> I believe that every child must be able to choose if he/she wants
> to have the parents around. Some children feel very comfortable
> hanging around their parents or adult family (and a lot of families
> provide the freedom, acceptance and support of them as individuals
> through non-judgmental relationships).
>
> From: discuss-sudbury-model-admin_at_sudval.org [mailto:discuss-
> sudbury-model-admin_at_sudval.org] On Behalf Of Caren Knox-Hundley
> Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2006 1:38 PM
> To: discuss-sudbury-model_at_sudval.org
> Subject: Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] 7 Lessons Taught in School
>
>
>
> I don't see it as "protecting" them from me. We are currently
> unschooling. I have seen first-hand how differently my boys act
> when not around me -- it's just a fact of life. We have a
> wonderful, open relationship - aided by the unschooling process,
> and now through consensual living ( http://www.consensual-
> living.com/ ) but the fact remains, they are their own people, and
> my presence affects their behavior.
>
>
>
> I think the history of Sudbury Valley School speaks for itself in
> this regard. The autonomy of the child is paramount, and because of
> the inherently dependent relationship kids have with their parents,
> it would be compromised.
>
>
>
> Gassho~
>
> Caren
>
> in Charlotte, NC
>
>
>
>
>
> On Nov 28, 2006, at 12:16 PM, JMMancasola_at_aol.com wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
> This distresses me also. There is an unspoken assumption
>
> that children need to be protected from their parents -- the
>
> very people who love and care about them the most. This
>
> mindset exemplifies a lack of trust and faith in the laws
>
> of nature and in the importance of human's trusting themselves
>
> to do what is correct for their children. How can we ignore the
>
> heap of anthropological studies which show historically how
>
> children thrive and flourish as they grow up along side of their
>
> parents - without being "protected" by any institution!
>
> Molly
>
>
>
>
Received on Tue Nov 28 2006 - 16:01:31 EST

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