Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] parenting teens

From: <>
Date: Thu Sep 30 15:11:01 2004

This makes good sense to me -- brain connections and having choices, also the part about letting kids be and do and experience. Alan's notes also made a lot of sense. In my previous notes about "feelings" I was trying to say how important it seems for the parent to examine her or his own feelings and their origins, if possible, in trying to make decisions.

----- Original Message -----
From: Karen Locke <>
Date: Thursday, September 30, 2004 9:02 am
Subject: Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] parenting teens

> I think this is a nice thing, being able to get some stories from
> people who
> have somewhat the same ideas about kids.
> I have a 21-year-old and a 15-year-old. One thing I've learned is
> that lots
> of my decisions have some basis in my own background.
> I was very sheltered, so I'm more willing to let my kids have some
> wildexperiences (I feel kind of deprived, never having done much
> experimentingwith the "wild side" of life). My mom always wanted
> to know where I was and
> whom I was with, so I basically never really had those kinds of
> tabs on my
> son. I treated him somewhat like a peer, as democratic schools do
> withkids. I set my own boundaries (I won't drive to pick you up
> after a certain
> time, I won't raise a baby if you have one before you're ready, etc).
> In return, he was pretty honest with me, although sometimes after
> the fact.
> He told me about using marijuana, after he quit. He told me about
> friendshe was worried about, who were using too much. He recently
> told me he's
> trying sobriety from alcohol for a month, and he's enjoying waking up
> without a hangover.
> He owns a house, goes to college, and is manager of a restaurant.
> He's a
> pretty cool person.
> I think all that brain stuff is a bit questionable. I think it
> would be
> interesting to study brains of kids who have power and make real
> choices. I
> read that cab drivers seem to have more brain connections in the
> parts of
> their brains that work with orientation, logistics, etc. I'm
> thinking that
> if kids make more choices....they have better brain development.
> That said, I also don't know that I'd let groups of them be alone
> at my
> house, or let boys and girls sleep in the same rooms at
> sleepovers. There
> is decision-making, and there is tempting fate! :)
> Karen
> > -----Original Message-----
> > Would any of you ( on this list ) leave 6 12-14 year olds home
> alone ?
> > Older teens ? What about when they start driving; do you
> condone just
> > driving around ? Do you ask to know where they are at all
> times? If so,
> > why? If not, why not ? What's the point of a curfew ? All
> these "rules"
> > seem based on mistrust.
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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> >
> >
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Received on Thu Sep 30 2004 - 15:10:40 EDT

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