Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] parenting teens

From: Karen Locke <klocke_at_mn.rr.com>
Date: Thu Sep 30 10:03:01 2004

I think this is a nice thing, being able to get some stories from people who
have somewhat the same ideas about kids.

I have a 21-year-old and a 15-year-old. One thing I've learned is that lots
of my decisions have some basis in my own background.

I was very sheltered, so I'm more willing to let my kids have some wild
experiences (I feel kind of deprived, never having done much experimenting
with the "wild side" of life). My mom always wanted to know where I was and
whom I was with, so I basically never really had those kinds of tabs on my
son. I treated him somewhat like a peer, as democratic schools do with
kids. I set my own boundaries (I won't drive to pick you up after a certain
time, I won't raise a baby if you have one before you're ready, etc).

In return, he was pretty honest with me, although sometimes after the fact.
He told me about using marijuana, after he quit. He told me about friends
he was worried about, who were using too much. He recently told me he's
trying sobriety from alcohol for a month, and he's enjoying waking up
without a hangover.

He owns a house, goes to college, and is manager of a restaurant. He's a
pretty cool person.

I think all that brain stuff is a bit questionable. I think it would be
interesting to study brains of kids who have power and make real choices. I
read that cab drivers seem to have more brain connections in the parts of
their brains that work with orientation, logistics, etc. I'm thinking that
if kids make more choices....they have better brain development.

That said, I also don't know that I'd let groups of them be alone at my
house, or let boys and girls sleep in the same rooms at sleepovers. There
is decision-making, and there is tempting fate! :)

Karen
> -----Original Message-----
> Would any of you ( on this list ) leave 6 12-14 year olds home alone ?
> Older teens ? What about when they start driving; do you condone just
> driving around ? Do you ask to know where they are at all times? If so,
> why? If not, why not ? What's the point of a curfew ? All these "rules"
> seem based on mistrust.
>
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Received on Thu Sep 30 2004 - 10:02:36 EDT

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