Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] ?s about democratic families

From: David Rovner <rovners_at_netvision.net.il>
Date: Sun Aug 29 18:01:00 2004

Dear Ann McDavitt,

<<. . . and am having lots of frustration on everyone's part when it comes to the kids solving their own problems. I would greatly appreciate any recommendations by anyone . . .>>

. . . All of which brings me to my final point, that has to do with patience. One thread that runs through every point in this chapter -- letting things go their own way, letting children develop their own curiosity freely, letting people decide what they are going to be trained in, letting people make all the mistakes they can on the way to developing their judgements -- is that all this things involve an enormous amount of time, and require PATIENCE. You have got to have time to work things out. Perhaps the most devastating feature of our society is its preoccupation with speed. In fact, the single most effective tool society has for squelching creativity and independence is rushing everybody to death. How often have I seen people who almost reached their goals suddenly stop and say, "Time is flying by, I have got to move on," and then all of their relaxed ability to work things out, goes down the drain. It is just plain ludicrous to think that a person has to have "made it" by a certain age. Some people find their life calling at six, others at thirty-six, others much later. Things have just got to be allowed to work themselves out in their own good time.

Perhaps, after all, PATIENCE is the most appropriate theme on which to end. For of all the virtues required in the art of childrearing, none is more important -- and none rarer -- than PATIENCE, in parents, in family, in friends; patience to allow the miracle of human development to unfold according to its own internal laws, from birth through infancy and childhood and youth, even till the moment of death.

[Excerpt, Chapter 14, "Learning," from, "Child rearing," by Daniel Greenberg, http://www.sudval.org/books.html#121 . See also, Chapter 9, "Ages Four and Up", http://www.sudval.org/texts/age4and.html ]

Shanti (peace) in education,
~ David

  ----- Original Message -----
  From: MCDAVITT5_at_aol.com
  To: discuss-sudbury-model_at_sudval.org
  Sent: Sunday, August 29, 2004 8:41 PM
  Subject: [Discuss-sudbury-model] ?s about democratic families

  Hi Everyone,
  My name is Ann, I have four young children and we unschool in Indiana. I would be very interested in any resources that talk of how parents/adults can help children learn how to come to solutions to their problems on their own. i have been trying to implement Family Effectiveness Training skills (Thomas Gordon, active listening, I messages, no-lose soultions) into to our lifestyle the past few months and am having lots of frustration on everyone's part when it comes to the kids solving their own problems. I would greatly appreciate any recommendations by anyone. I also wanted to ask if there is anyone on this list who lives in central Indiana who has entertained the idea of starting a free school. THank you for your time.

  Peace
  Ann McDavitt
Received on Sun Aug 29 2004 - 18:00:44 EDT

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