RE: [Discuss-sudbury-model] Paradigms

From: Don Yates <dyates_at_extraordinaryorganizations.com>
Date: Thu Aug 5 14:59:00 2004

 

From Ann -

My listening of what you're saying is that beliefs are embedded in just
about everything we say and do; and I agree. Are you also suggesting that
to change them we have to directly address them ?

**Yes, I believe to actually change a belief we have to be aware of it and
question it directly.

  I think that by talking about them even indirectly can create openings for
change. For example, asking parents the questions I suggested earlier does
address their beliefs;
but not by asking " What do you believe about .....?" I just think that
could be too confronting. I share what I care about; and then the
conversation takes off. Know what I mean ?

**I think that you can ask questions about beliefs without being too
confrontive. I you find the person getting angry or resistant that is a clue
that you have someone you are not going to affect. Beyond asking what they
believe you can also ask them how they have come to this belief. That allows
them to test whether their belief makes sense. The point is to keep asking
questions and not start telling them your [the] answer.

Not that this would be appropriate in the context we've been talking about;
but I have worked with clients to facilitate belief change totally
metaphorically. One client, while in a relaxed, meditative state, imagined
fleas jumping from one dog onto another, as part of a story that developed
as we metaphorically explored his issue! ( That was a fun session.) Point
being, the change doesn't have to occur as directly as, to me, you seem to
be implying. In fact, sometimes, the less aware one is, the less resistance
there is.

** I guess I would say that the less aware the less the chance of actually
changing. This, however, could be a conversation way longer than anyone on
this list probably wants to hear.

Regards,
Ann

** Be well,
   Don
Received on Thu Aug 05 2004 - 12:24:21 EDT

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