Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] Lack of interest?

From: Sally Rosloff <sallyr_at_socal.rr.com>
Date: Tue Mar 16 00:53:00 2004

>"What about when kids appear to have lost interest when in fact they have
>stopped because of a fear or being discouraged or something like that and
>exploring that could help them to continue and by doing so gain confidence."
>
>I agree that exploring fear and discouragement are vital. But can you see
>that behind your question is the notion that you will have to step in and
>fix something or generate it for them. SVS students get plenty of practice
>facing fear and discouragement for themselves. Many prevailing themes of
>the thesis defenses demonstrate their great pride in what has been overcome
>or developed in themselves. The inherent belief that they will be and do
>what is necessary with their own energy/psyche/intellect is precisely what
>SVS empowers.
>
>Carol

Hi Carol,
Hmmmmm. I'm thinking about your reply that behind my question is the idea
of fixing something or generating something. So do you believe that there
is never a place in human relations for encouragement? Or is it that there
is a fear of a possible power imbalance that would not be truly respecting
the student's decisions? And that fear keeps staff from any suggestions?

Say my husband decides to take up hiking and I'm not particularly
interested in it so I don't join him. But at some point he says it would
be fun for him for me to go so I go one time and end up with sore muscles
so the next time I tell him I'm not interested. He asks why and I say that
my muscles were too sore and I'm not in shape and don't want to go through
that discomfort. Without being coercive he says that of course it's up to
me (and means it) but that he misses my company and that he went through
sore muscles at first but now he has worked up to it and that is not a
problem and that would probably happen with me. So I think about it and
decide that maybe there's something to what he's saying and I would enjoy
spending the time with him so I go again. I go several times and do have
sore muscles but eventually also work up to it and then I find that I
really enjoy the hiking and the beautiful views that I would never have
experienced and also sharing this with my husband and the benefits of the
exercise and I'm glad that he encouraged me to not give it up.

So did he step in and fix something in me and/or generate an interest for
me that somehow takes something away from me? Or did he simply see, from
his experience of going through the sore muscles and getting to the
benefits, that that might also happen for me and so shared what he had
learned with me without imposing anything?

I'm pondering.

Thanks.
Sally
Received on Tue Mar 16 2004 - 00:52:30 EST

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