Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] Introverts

Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] Introverts----- Original Message -----
> From: Sheila

> Legally, the parents own the home. But really, shouldn't the home belong to all the members of the family?

No, I don't believe so.

> They aren't old enough to have a job and make money (even if they're capable of it, the laws of the state don't
> allow it), so shouldn't they have equal say as to how the money in the food budget is spent, or even how much
> money is allocated for food?

No, I don't believe so. What would be the rationale for this? Whose money is it?

> Technically, I own my kids' rooms as much as I own the rest of the house. Many people in our culture think it's
> acceptable for parents to "give" the children their bedrooms but not the rest of the house. But really, why
> should they not have as much say as me as to what we do in the livingroom? I have different priorities than
> them, but my priorities are no more important than theirs, just different.

Because they have nothing invested if things go wrong. YOU will be the one to shoulder the burden of paying for the furniture that is broken, etc.

> Say, for example, my young boys want to paint in the kitchen. If I say, "Only if you clean up after yourself",
> they might feel so overwhelmed with the idea of cleaning up that they just won't paint. I'd be sad then that they
> didn't get to experience the joy of painting. Am I willing to sacrifice a clean kitchen floor for the hour of joy my
> boys would have painting?

If you are, that would be great! I have done so (and similar things) many times and will continue to do so. If not, it is your kitchen and, if they painted and applied permanent paint to the appliances or the carpet (if you have one in the kitchen), YOU would be the one stuck with the burden of arranging and paying for repairs, not the kids. YOU have ownership rights, not them.

> My 10 year old can't drive by herself because the state has decided she's not allowed until she's 16. Is it right
> for her transportation to be limited to when I feel like it? Shouldn't I make giving her transportation to places
> that are important to her a high priority?

High priority? Sure, that's how I have always operated with my kids. But that is a far cry from making fulfilling their transportation wishes a requirement on me. I do it because I wish to, not because I have to.

~Alan Klein
Received on Fri Oct 31 2003 - 21:47:33 EST