Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] Introverts

Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] IntrovertsLegally, the parents own the home. But really, shouldn't the home belong to all the members of the family?

They aren't old enough to have a job and make money (even if they're capable of it, the laws of the state don't allow it), so shouldn't they have equal say as to how the money in the food budget is spent, or even how much money is allocated for food?

Technically, I own my kids' rooms as much as I own the rest of the house. Many people in our culture think it's acceptable for parents to "give" the children their bedrooms but not the rest of the house. But really, why should they not have as much say as me as to what we do in the livingroom? I have different priorities than them, but my priorities are no more important than theirs, just different.

Say, for example, my young boys want to paint in the kitchen. If I say, "Only if you clean up after yourself", they might feel so overwhelmed with the idea of cleaning up that they just won't paint. I'd be sad then that they didn't get to experience the joy of painting. Am I willing to sacrifice a clean kitchen floor for the hour of joy my boys would have painting?

My 10 year old can't drive by herself because the state has decided she's not allowed until she's 16. Is it right for her transportation to be limited to when I feel like it? Shouldn't I make giving her transportation to places that are important to her a high priority?

Sheila
  How does all this apply in the case of home schoolers and messes? Who owns the house and the things in it? My guess is the parents. Therefore, it is not up to the kids to tell you how to use that property. In fact, it is just the opposite. No one has the right to tell me that they are going to use things that I own in ways that I do not want them used, unless the uses I planned were illegal in the first place. My kids, who can outvote me, as well, cannot tell me where I am going to drive my car, what food I am going to buy, how messy my living room will be, etc.

  That said, when it comes to their things, the same applies to my "power" over them. I have input, but not decision-making ability! So, if dh is referring to the kids' own rooms, dh is out of line and will have to deal with his/her own ability to "stand" it. If dh is referring to public spaces, then I assume that you and dh own the stuff in the public rooms (as well as the room itself) and it is then up to you and dh to make your own policies, hopefully, of course, with input from the kids.

  ~Alan Klein
    ----- Original Message -----
    "Is the Democratic Schooling way of divvying up the cleaning responsibilities "authoritarian"? Not in my eyes. Why not adopt that methodology when it comes to cleaning up at home? "

    There are three kids and two parents, so dh and I would get outvoted. :) Their attitude is "Who cares if it's messy, can't you step over it?" Dh's attitude is, "I can't STAND this" and my attitude is somewhere in the middle.
Received on Fri Oct 31 2003 - 20:02:38 EST