Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] TCS (was New to Sudbury-Cottage Grove, OR

From: Richard Berlin <rberlin_at_pacbell.net>
Date: Sun Jun 1 23:20:00 2003

I'm so glad to see that someone experienced with TCS
was able to respond. I was sure I wasn't doing it justice.

> Most people probably dismiss TCS because they get scared of what a
> child
> might do if unimpeded.

Daniel's childrearing book certainly seems to advocate unimpeded home
life.
So I wonder if the problem may be that people fail to draw enough
distinction
in "scale" between a family and an institution. It's very safe for my
child to be unimpeded at home...but I can't tell my daycare provider
that
the teachers aren't allowed to set rules. (And even with those rules it
doesn't keep the kids safe. At 20 months my child got into a squabble
over
a ball which resulted in him coming home with a huge bite mark on his
face.
Thereafter, the teachers started complaining to us that he clung to
them and
wasn't willing to go play with the kids...as though that's not perfectly
rational under the circumstances! Sigh.)

Perhaps exposure to this environment is enough to explain why we aren't
succeeding in discovering common preferences with our child. Then
again,
he's barely three and has high control needs of his own. A typical
failed interaction recently: we wanted to go to bed--at midnight--while
he wanted to stay up and play. *And* he wanted us to stay up with him.
When I suggested that he could play as long as he wanted and just come
to bed whenever he was ready, but that we wanted to go to bed now, he
completely lost it. Of course, since it was midnight, he wasn't exactly
resilient. I felt so bad for him...but we were running up against our
physical limitations and his cognitive ones simultaneously.

I've gotten no indication of how old a child is before TCS really starts
to work; do you have a moment to tell me how it is working for you, and
what you do or did with toddlers who aren't yet verbal, rational or
empathetic?

-- Rich
Received on Sun Jun 01 2003 - 23:19:22 EDT

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