Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] sex & drugs & power & control

From: <>
Date: Sat Jan 18 22:20:00 2003

With my children, I make appropriate comments all the time. eg. when a news item is
on that I agree / disagree with - my partner and / or I will explain to our children why we
agree / disagree; or if we are out and someone makes a comment - we will explain it in
more detail...... just whenever the issues arise. It doesn't need to be a discussion or
even a lecture - small comments over their entire lifetime all add up to a lot of info. If
they ask questions or show an intersest I will give them even more detail.

I would not trust the school system to do this education as they have to cater to the
lowest common denominator - and with drugs that will be the moral minority stance of
"prohibition" (same goes with sex education). Maybe its different in your country tho.


On 18 Jan 2003 at 20:54, Jennifer Blair wrote:

> "With regard to the drugs, racism, swearing etc - these are in our society. It is better to educate children about these things so they have an understanding of them rather than prohibiting them."
> But how do you educate them so they have an understanding? or is it trusted that those
> conversations will happen at home...what ifkids are not interested in engaging in conversations
> about these subjects. I would love to hear how these subjects are approached with kids in
> schools.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From:
> Sent: Saturday, January 18, 2003 3:39 PM
> To:
> Subject: [Discuss-sudbury-model] sex & drugs & power & control
> >
> > The tree forts and video games, as well as, perhaps, the junk food, issues all, in part, fall into
> the
> > "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome. After years of traditional upbringing and/or
> > schooling, even though we tell the kids that they have complete freedom to choose their own
> > activities, they don't completely believe us. They usually go through what can be an extended
> > period of testing the limits of this freedom.
> Additionally, as parents, we are in a position of power over our children, and for the child,
> growing up is a process of wresting that power off us and learning to be an independent person.
> In western society we are taught that power over others is justified if you can make an argument
> for the other person being "incapable of looking after themselves". I don't believe this is true.
> The biggest challenge as parents is to give up that power to your child and find other ways to
> support them and protect them from danger without impinging on their right to self determination
> (which even the youngest child has).
> With regard to the drugs, racism, swearing etc - these are in our society. It is better to educate
> children about these things so they have an understanding of them rather than prohibiting them.
> Prohibition of anything has never worked in any country. Drug use in particular is common and
> as parents we will not be able to stop our kids experimenting if they want to. We can arm them
> with good information to stop them OD'ing or getting into trouble with the police.
> Drug propaganda (especially in America) is way over the top and kids know that instinctivly. The
> belief that their parents trust them will go further to control a teenagers drug use than trying to
> hide the issue or prohibit use or any other form of control.
> As my mother used to say about curfews, sex and drugs - "anything you can do after dark you
> can do before dark. I just have to trust you or else Im admitting that I wasn't a good parent."
> Sandra Murray
> *******************************************************************************************
> A Threat to Justice Anywhere;
> Is a Threat to Justice Everywhere
> Sandra MurrayCannabis Outreach Co-ordinator
> 09 368 1355c/o Green Party
> Mob 021 890 629PO Box 1553, Auckland
> ********************************************************************************************

        A Threat to Justice Anywhere;
                                Is a Threat to Justice Everywhere

Sandra Murray Cannabis Outreach Co-ordinator ph 09 368 1355 c/o Green Party
                        Mob 021 890 629 PO Box 1553, Auckland
Received on Sat Jan 18 2003 - 22:19:12 EST

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