Re: [Discuss-sudbury-model] sex & drugs & power & control

From: <dwyn_at_kiwilink.co.nz>
Date: Sat Jan 18 22:20:00 2003

With my children, I make appropriate comments all the time. eg. when a news item is
on that I agree / disagree with - my partner and / or I will explain to our children why we
agree / disagree; or if we are out and someone makes a comment - we will explain it in
more detail...... just whenever the issues arise. It doesn't need to be a discussion or
even a lecture - small comments over their entire lifetime all add up to a lot of info. If
they ask questions or show an intersest I will give them even more detail.

I would not trust the school system to do this education as they have to cater to the
lowest common denominator - and with drugs that will be the moral minority stance of
"prohibition" (same goes with sex education). Maybe its different in your country tho.

Sandi

On 18 Jan 2003 at 20:54, Jennifer Blair wrote:

>
> "With regard to the drugs, racism, swearing etc - these are in our society. It is better to educate children about these things so they have an understanding of them rather than prohibiting them."
>
> But how do you educate them so they have an understanding? or is it trusted that those
> conversations will happen at home...what ifkids are not interested in engaging in conversations
> about these subjects. I would love to hear how these subjects are approached with kids in
> schools.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: dwyn_at_kiwilink.co.nz
> Sent: Saturday, January 18, 2003 3:39 PM
> To: discuss-sudbury-model_at_sudval.org
> Subject: [Discuss-sudbury-model] sex & drugs & power & control
>
> >
> > The tree forts and video games, as well as, perhaps, the junk food, issues all, in part, fall into
> the
> > "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome. After years of traditional upbringing and/or
> > schooling, even though we tell the kids that they have complete freedom to choose their own
> > activities, they don't completely believe us. They usually go through what can be an extended
> > period of testing the limits of this freedom.
>
> Additionally, as parents, we are in a position of power over our children, and for the child,
> growing up is a process of wresting that power off us and learning to be an independent person.
> In western society we are taught that power over others is justified if you can make an argument
> for the other person being "incapable of looking after themselves". I don't believe this is true.
> The biggest challenge as parents is to give up that power to your child and find other ways to
> support them and protect them from danger without impinging on their right to self determination
> (which even the youngest child has).
> With regard to the drugs, racism, swearing etc - these are in our society. It is better to educate
> children about these things so they have an understanding of them rather than prohibiting them.
> Prohibition of anything has never worked in any country. Drug use in particular is common and
> as parents we will not be able to stop our kids experimenting if they want to. We can arm them
> with good information to stop them OD'ing or getting into trouble with the police.
> Drug propaganda (especially in America) is way over the top and kids know that instinctivly. The
> belief that their parents trust them will go further to control a teenagers drug use than trying to
> hide the issue or prohibit use or any other form of control.
> As my mother used to say about curfews, sex and drugs - "anything you can do after dark you
> can do before dark. I just have to trust you or else Im admitting that I wasn't a good parent."
>
> Sandra Murray
> *******************************************************************************************
> A Threat to Justice Anywhere;
> Is a Threat to Justice Everywhere
>
> Sandra MurrayCannabis Outreach Co-ordinator
> dwyn_at_kiwilink.co.nzph 09 368 1355c/o Green Party
> Mob 021 890 629PO Box 1553, Auckland
> ********************************************************************************************

*******************************************************************************************
        A Threat to Justice Anywhere;
                                Is a Threat to Justice Everywhere

Sandra Murray Cannabis Outreach Co-ordinator
dwyn_at_kiwilink.co.nz ph 09 368 1355 c/o Green Party
                        Mob 021 890 629 PO Box 1553, Auckland
********************************************************************************************
Received on Sat Jan 18 2003 - 22:19:12 EST

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