[Discuss-sudbury-model] sex & drugs & power & control

From: <dwyn_at_kiwilink.co.nz>
Date: Sat Jan 18 15:34:00 2003

> The tree forts and video games, as well as, perhaps, the junk food, issues all, in part, fall into the
> "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome. After years of traditional upbringing and/or
> schooling, even though we tell the kids that they have complete freedom to choose their own
> activities, they don't completely believe us. They usually go through what can be an extended
> period of testing the limits of this freedom.

Additionally, as parents, we are in a position of power over our
children, and for the child, growing up is a process of wresting that
power off us and learning to be an independent person. In western
society we are taught that power over others is justified if you can
make an argument for the other person being "incapable of looking
after themselves". I don't believe this is true.
The biggest challenge as parents is to give up that power to your child
and find other ways to support them and protect them from danger
without impinging on their right to self determination (which even the
youngest child has).
With regard to the drugs, racism, swearing etc - these are in our
society. It is better to educate children about these things so they have
an understanding of them rather than prohibiting them. Prohibition of
anything has never worked in any country. Drug use in particular is
common and as parents we will not be able to stop our kids
experimenting if they want to. We can arm them with good information
to stop them OD'ing or getting into trouble with the police.
Drug propaganda (especially in America) is way over the top and kids
know that instinctivly. The belief that their parents trust them will go
further to control a teenagers drug use than trying to hide the issue or
prohibit use or any other form of control.
As my mother used to say about curfews, sex and drugs - "anything
you can do after dark you can do before dark. I just have to trust you or
else Im admitting that I wasn't a good parent."

Sandra Murray
        A Threat to Justice Anywhere;
                                Is a Threat to Justice Everywhere

Sandra Murray Cannabis Outreach Co-ordinator
dwyn_at_kiwilink.co.nz ph 09 368 1355 c/o Green Party
                        Mob 021 890 629 PO Box 1553, Auckland
Received on Sat Jan 18 2003 - 15:33:36 EST

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