[Discuss-sudbury-model] laughter

From: Konstantina Broome <kbroome_at_myitgroup.com>
Date: Tue Dec 17 07:44:01 2002

WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if
it is dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?" she asked
her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the
child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
didn't
move."
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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.
"Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No.
You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask
again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......
"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
________________________________________________

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought
it over
and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the
door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

_________________________________________________

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking
her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a
tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother
smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to
sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky
little voice: "The big sissy."
_________________________________________________

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's
sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was
wearing a particularly pretty dress and as she sat down, the pastor leaned
over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The
little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes,
and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
_________________________________________________

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She
said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy
has a baby growing in her tummy" ":I know," she replied, but what's
growing in your butt?"
_________________________________________________

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus
five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is
nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you
doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And
this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he
answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are
you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are
learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say
two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped
laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF
WHICH, is
four."
_________________________________________________

One day the first ! grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little
tried
to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the
farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer
said?" One
little girl raised her hand and said,
 "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" .............
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes
Received on Tue Dec 17 2002 - 07:43:09 EST

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