When I was in high school, back in the sixties, I was one of the shy, quiet types who sat in the back of the class and was rarely noticed -- not by teachers, and not by my peers. I studied hard and did extremely well; my grades were my self-esteem. But I was enough of a rebel to resent a system which gave me so few choices. My time, my life, were not my own and I hated it.
I knew there had to be a better way. I resolved to someday open a school of my own -- a school where children would want to be -- a school that empowered instead of imprisoned. I went off to college and majored in education, reading _Summerhill_ and John Holt on the side. The plan was to teach a few years in public school -- just to gain experience -- and then strike out on my own.
Life has a way of altering our plans. I married young, had children, and moved to Germany with my husband. Through all of the changes, my desire for a 'someday school' never abated. I studied Montessori, Waldorf and alternative schools looking for the right model. When I answered an ad in _New Age Magazine_ for a school called Sudbury Valley, I knew I had found what I'd been looking for. The problem was, I was still in Germany, living in a military community and never knowing from one year to the next if we would stay or 'go home.'
Eventually, I took my teenage son, a high-school drop-out, and moved temporarily to Framingham. Sean was still a minor, so I lived with him for the first of his two years at SVS before returning to my life in Germany.
I am now 53 years old. My husband will be retiring in another year, and we will at last be returning to the states. For my dream of a school, it is too late. I no longer have the energy or determination it takes to get a Sudbury model school up and running, nor do I have the desire it takes to keep one going.
Surprisingly, I have no regrets. Looking back on my life, I believe my dream was not really about founding a school but about finding SVS. It was at SVS that my son regained a sense of dignity and self-worth, and it was there that he met the beautiful young woman whom he will marry this coming June. And it was in Framingham that I met some of the most incredible women it has ever been my privilege to know. Life is good, and I am blessed!
What I do have is a full set of 'start your own school' materials from SVS. If there is someone out there who could use the books, tapes and videos, please let me know. I will gladly donate them to your cause and know that my goal is being fulfilled, though not by myself.
Yours in common spirit -- Linda
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