DSM: Re: RE: Parents and Philosophy

From: Ann Ide (ann.ide@rcn.com)
Date: Sat Jan 26 2002 - 22:37:28 EST


Liz,
I'll let Scott speak for himself, of course; but I don't think he meant that
parents "should" be indifferent. He was merely saying that it is another
scenario that can work. I think that anyone who believes in the Sudbruy
model would also give their children the kind of experiences you had growing
up, if we could. Sounds like a John Gatto dream! Learning by living and
being around many different adults, working beside them.....the good ol'
days of learning in a true community. Unfortunately, we have to create them
now. I think Sudbury schools are an attempt at that.

Also, think about how you learned from your parents. Were they always
going," Would you like to learn..x..?" or" Would you like help with...x...?"
and if they did, did they tend to be things you DID want; because they were
so close to you and knew you so well that they had a good sense of what help
you would want? It's like good dancing. They were probably in touch with
your "rhythms" , not just forcing their own on you or bugging you. The art
is in knowing when it's appropriate and when it's not. I don't think anyone
is suggesting never to offer help.

Sorry if I have confused who addressed these issues. Jesse has interrupted
me like 20 times while trying to write this. I recall someone wanting more
!

Ann
----- Original Message -----
From: "Liz Reid and Errol Strelnikoff" <lizanderrol@home.com>
To: <discuss-sudbury-model@sudval.org>
Sent: Saturday, January 26, 2002 12:10 PM
Subject: DSM: RE: Parents and Philosophy

> > Sadly, some people either don't listen to the school's
> > philosophy as outlined in the interview and read into it
> > whatever their fantasies are, or they decide that they can
> > "use" SVS as a place for their kids to socialize in between
> > pursuing the parents' curriculum. There are far too many
> > situations like this in our school, but it is still only a
> > small minority of kids who are bearing this particular
> > burden.
>
> There is no escaping the parents' 'curriculum', as you call it. When you
> live in a group there are going to be certain situations where you will
have
> to take into account the interests of other members of the group. That
> could be all kinds of things, i.e. doing the dishes, setting the table,
> running to the store of some eggs, putting away the toys in the living
room.
> If I had a Sudbury school nearby I would consider sending my kids there
and
> the primary motivation would be as a place to socialize.
>
> > When I was growing up my mother was "indifferent" to the
> > school's philosophy. But my mother most certainly was _not_
> > indifferent to the fact that I was happy at school and that
> > my life was unfolding well while I was at Sudbury Valley.
> > And guess what -- that was all I needed from her.
>
> My parents spent as much time as they could at Play Mountain Place, they
> learned as much as they could from Phyllis, the founder of the school.
Then
> when we moved to Europe and travelled around North Africa and the Middle
> East our parents naturally unschooled us. My brothers and I still turn to
> my parents for ideas and help with our children. Thank goodness they were
> not "indifferent" to the school's philosophy.
>
> I hate to say this but everything that I and my brothers do to make money
or
> to care for our families, we learned from our parents, from travelling and
> living and talking and working beside them. What we got out of our times
at
> free schools is far less directly observable as useful life skills, but
that
> is because the social aspect is far less measurable. While we were
growing
> up my parents had no idea that what they were doing with us would have
such
> a direct influence on what we would be doing as adults, or they may have
> approached it differently.
>
> Liz
>
>
>
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