DSM: RE: parental responsibilities

From: Joe Jackson (shoeless@jazztbone.com)
Date: Fri Dec 07 2001 - 13:54:33 EST


I, for one, do not think the Sudbury model automatically extends to or
in any way defines what happens in the home. While I believe that
generally Sudbury homes are less dictatorial and more democratic, I find
that Sudbury families represent a wide variety of home dynamics.

-Joe

-----Original Message-----
From: owner-discuss-sudbury-model@sudval.org
[mailto:owner-discuss-sudbury-model@sudval.org] On Behalf Of Ann Ide
Sent: Friday, December 07, 2001 11:55 AM
To: discuss-sudbury-model@sudval.org
Subject: DSM: parental responsibilities

A LOT of interesting things being said. Although disconcerting at
times, I find it useful to question my role and actions as a parent
rather than be in the knowing all the time. (And I share this
perspective with my kids- we have talked about how we are all learning
and experimenting with the "Sudbury way", as we call it, in our home.)

All the talk about tv has been great; but I'd like to focus back on the
main question I had behind all this: When to influence my kids; how much
freedom to allow them, etc. in our family life at home. I guess it
boils down to asking this: What are the responsibilities of a parent
within the Sudbury philosophy? Also, how do they differ from a staff
person's responsibilities for our children at school?

Scott, you said before that we should respect each others' (including
our children's, of course) abilities to look after themselves. Could you
(and anyone else) say more about that? "Look out for themselves" is too
broad for me. And the word ability , for me, implies levels of
competence. One is not born able to take care of themselves. So, as a
parent, I can't help but ongoingly access their abilities in the various
domains and activities of their lives. That's what makes the letting go
so complicated. Like you suggested, using the power of attorney
standard- making judgements for someone when they are not capable
themselves -is that what you meant? How is it staff don't have to do
this and parents do?

Thanks,

Ann

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