DSM: parental responsibilities

From: Ann Ide (ann.ide@rcn.com)
Date: Fri Dec 07 2001 - 11:55:25 EST


A LOT of interesting things being said. Although disconcerting at times, I find it useful to question my role and actions as a parent rather than be in the knowing all the time. (And I share this perspective with my kids- we have talked about how we are all learning and experimenting with the "Sudbury way", as we call it, in our home.)

All the talk about tv has been great; but I'd like to focus back on the main question I had behind all this: When to influence my kids; how much freedom to allow them, etc. in our family life at home. I guess it boils down to asking this: What are the responsibilities of a parent within the Sudbury philosophy? Also, how do they differ from a staff person's responsibilities for our children at school?

Scott, you said before that we should respect each others' (including our children's, of course) abilities to look after themselves. Could you (and anyone else) say more about that? "Look out for themselves" is too broad for me. And the word ability , for me, implies levels of competence. One is not born able to take care of themselves. So, as a parent, I can't help but ongoingly access their abilities in the various domains and activities of their lives. That's what makes the letting go so complicated. Like you suggested, using the power of attorney standard- making judgements for someone when they are not capable themselves -is that what you meant? How is it staff don't have to do this and parents do?

Thanks,

Ann

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