Greetings to all,
Aw, shucks. No simple formulas for me, huh? Thanks so much to everyone who has sent in their ideas and experiences. It was a feast of food for thought today. Went into a bit of overwhelm and took some time to process and accept myself as a beginner once again in the learning process of being a parent (even though I have an 11 and a 7 year old).
Scott raised a few particulary good questions for me: You suggest that we can rely on respect for privacy and a person's abilities to look out for themselves. Well, "look out for themselves" is so broad. I feel I need to ongoingly access their "abilities" in a number of domains. In the area of play and learning- I can leave them be. But areas like health, safety, learning to share responsibilities around the house and be considerate of others...to name a few, they do not seem to exhibit competence and good judgement all the time. Is this one of the parental "responsibilities" you suggest? It's always such a tough call to make and not always consistent- making it worse. At school, it seems, "abilities" are not a consideration. Could you also say more about what the standards are for power of attorney? As I understand them, it relates to someone not being competent enough to make judgements on their own. So I have the responsibility of determining that also?
The other part of this whole equation( I wish it were so simple ) is what to do when kids don't "agree" with our accessments, requests, etc. Reasoning just doesn't seem to work all the time- especially with my very indignant 7 year old who seems to be very much exploring what his rights are ( as are we!) and still seems to be very egocentric. I hate coming up with "consequences" or "sentences" as they are called in school. Without a neutral JC, it seems to trigger the power struggle thing no matter how we approach it. Brooks, thanks so much for the web site on "Taking Children Seriously". I had not heard of this non-coercive parenting. Will be looking for one of the recommended books. Sounds VERY intriguing as a possible home complement for Sudbury families.
Thanks again to all; and feel free to add more!
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, please send an email TO
email@example.com (do NOT reply to the mailing list) with the following
phrase in the BODY (not the subject) of the message, replacing
"firstname.lastname@example.org" with the email address that you subscribed under:
unsubscribe discuss-sudbury-model email@example.com
If you are interested in the subject, but the volume of mail sent is too much,
you may wish to consider unsubscribing from this list and subscribing to
This mailing list is archived at http://www.sudval.org/~sdg/archives
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0.0 : Wed Mar 27 2002 - 19:39:48 EST