DSM: Re: Re: sudbury in the home

From: morticia crone (medea9mac@surfeu.de)
Date: Sun Dec 02 2001 - 03:22:13 EST


alan wrote:
Kids seem to be able to discern quite easily the expectations and rules that govern various settings, so long as we don't confuse them by telling them it is one thing, when it is really another.

gawd, that is a good one. you must be so aware of yourself, alan to be able to be so consistent. i've got three kids running around and catch myself out over and over again. i find myself making a lot of "well, actually..." statements - these are so wishy washy and although i think i have my reasons at the time for waffling, i don't think my kids or their friends are particularly helped by this. telling them one thing while sending subliminal messages to the contrary is so prevalent that i think most people aren't aware that they are doing it. as soon as i become aware, i straighten up, explain that i'm trying to work this out in my own head and then try again. i think this waffling also comes about because, at least for me, i would like for it - life - to progress in certain ways, i.e. with total respect for my children's wishes and rights at all times - but i have trouble wedding the idea to the practice, hence "well, actually..." i have opinions about how they spend their time, which i make clear - am i being a good mom or a poor respecter of their rights to choose?

~~~cheers, morticia~~~

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