DSM: Re: sudbury in the home

From: Alan Klein (Alan@klein.net)
Date: Sat Dec 01 2001 - 20:46:51 EST


As a staff member and a parent at a democratic school, I never found this to be a problem. For me the key ingredients are clarity and respect. Specifically, I think it is important for parents to be clear about our own needs. As parents, we own the home and the property in it, except that which is personally the kids'. We do no one a favor by pretending that we will allow democratic decision-making to control OUR stuff.

Democratic decision-making, even at school, is only used for those decisions that affect the community at large and its property. Kids at democratic schools (and at home) make their own, independent, decisions all day in areas that only affect them. Respecting these decisions, in either setting, is vital.

Kids seem to be able to discern quite easily the expectations and rules that govern various settings, so long as we don't confuse them by telling them it is one thing, when it is really another.

~Alan Klein
  ----- Original Message -----
  From: morticia crone
  i've heard said that this list is meant to discuss the model of education that is sudbury, got that. for the record, in case this is relevant, i haven't read any sudbury books - my sm info comes from the net. so, assuming all families have internal discrepencies, disagreements, difficulties, and hoping that i'm not being too off-topic, here, i'd like to ask some sudbury parents:

  whether and if so, how they *implement* democracy in the home? perhaps it's not too much to assume that no one attempts the sm in the home to a complete degree.

  assuming this is correct, how do your children relate to non-democracy (partial democracy, whatever) in the home?

  do you, the parents, attempt democratic solutions, and what are the results?

  do sudbury kids expect life outside of school to follow the same lines as within their school? how is the differentiation explained to the children?

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