DSM: Re: How We, final words

From: morticia crone (medea9mac@surfeu.de)
Date: Sat Dec 01 2001 - 18:31:06 EST


ok, i know i'm late in responding, and i also know that this is a response
to an example dawn offered to clarify her position regarding the question of
"responding to stupid questions" which may or may not be pertinent to this
list depending on the context it is put in.

dawn wrote:
So no, I don't think confronting the parent harms the kid any more than the
parent was already intending to.

uh, this is totally wrong (sorry, since it seems it's important to you to be
right...). there are a s-load of parents who WILL blame their children
for embarrassing them in public, and when another adult makes the parent in
question "look bad", "feel ashamed" totally regardless of how other people
may have already seen this person, then _that parent will see_ the child as
the cause: the child caused the parent to react violently in the first
place, the child caused the adult to be castigated in public by another
adult, and in the end, more than likely out of sight of the castigator and
other potentially *interfering* eyes, yes, the CHILD will pay for it. there
is loads of reading material to support this.

acting in one manner in all situations couldn't possibly be a balanced
solution to the ills of the world.

dawn wrote: On the other hand, ignoring parents who act this way sends
the opposite message...and most cruelly, to the child.

this is frighteningly true. too bad we can't get jc's started on our public
buses, trains, etc. i am totally serious, btw.

best regards,
~morticia~

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