DSM: Re: vittivati

From: christy taylor (taylor3@bmts.com)
Date: Fri Nov 16 2001 - 09:55:18 EST


Can you please elaborate on the types of behaviour etc. that determine a
schoolmarmish parent? What is it that these parents did/do to their children
and if it is obvious to some has there been some kind of protection in the
law to prevent it from continuing? And what was/is the conflict and pain
that resulted from this behaviour. As I am an occasional supervisor of a
Sudbury Valley modelled school, I would like to be able to identify this
behaviour if I see it in myself or others.
Christy Taylor

>---------- Forwarded message ----------
>Date: Fri, 16 Nov 2001 09:05:26 -0500
>From: Vittivatti@cs.com
>To: discuss-sudbury-model@sudval.org
>Subject: Re: How We Come Off to Others (was RE: re[2]: DSM: democratic classroom)
>
>
>A big SHOUT OUT TO LESLIE!!, Thank you for breathing fresh air (in the
>otherwise snooty air) in here. I concur, most, if not all SVS kids could give
>a ____ about what we (the parents) think about them. And this is healthy.
>
> Is it me, or does it seem that focusing on more extreme forms of abuse is
>another way for meddlesome, controlling parents to avoid observing their own
>behavior? It is always easier to attack those demons out there, but what
>about the ones in here.
>
>I saw the harm done by "schoolmarmish," overbearing parents at SVS when I was
>a kid there. I can't tell you the conflict and pain it caused.
>
>Some are lucky. They have parents who trust them, who let them be, and then
>there are the others. Maybe it is futile to ask parents to pay attention to
>this, perhaps not.
>
>Leslie's obviously open mined enough to see. But she's one of the few
>exceptions. The real revolution may come when more SVS former students become
>"the parents."
>
>Sadly parents who never had SVS in their youth, can be seen desperately
>trying to cling on to something they never had themselves. Is it possible to
>feel more compassion for ourselves and others? Look at the damage done to us
>as children? Can we see that our beliefs that divide us are the root of
>violence?
>
>In a candid conversation with a parent (of one of my peers from SVS) she
>said, " I was living vicariously through [her] at her expense. If only I knew
>then what I know now, I wouldn't have cheated her so."
>
>
>Show Your Right
>One Love
>alison
>
>
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