(no subject)

From: Scott David Gray (sdg@sudval.org)
Date: Fri Nov 16 2001 - 10:19:23 EST

Vittivatti@cs.com sent this to the list. It was bounced
because, sometimes, our anti-spamming efforts prevent
legitimate users from posting.

--Scott David Gray
reply to: sdg@sudval.org

---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Fri, 16 Nov 2001 09:05:26 -0500 From: Vittivatti@cs.com To: discuss-sudbury-model@sudval.org Subject: Re: How We Come Off to Others (was RE: re[2]: DSM: democratic classroom)

A big SHOUT OUT TO LESLIE!!, Thank you for breathing fresh air (in the otherwise snooty air) in here. I concur, most, if not all SVS kids could give a ____ about what we (the parents) think about them. And this is healthy.

Is it me, or does it seem that focusing on more extreme forms of abuse is another way for meddlesome, controlling parents to avoid observing their own behavior? It is always easier to attack those demons out there, but what about the ones in here.

I saw the harm done by "schoolmarmish," overbearing parents at SVS when I was a kid there. I can't tell you the conflict and pain it caused.

Some are lucky. They have parents who trust them, who let them be, and then there are the others. Maybe it is futile to ask parents to pay attention to this, perhaps not.

Leslie's obviously open mined enough to see. But she's one of the few exceptions. The real revolution may come when more SVS former students become "the parents."

Sadly parents who never had SVS in their youth, can be seen desperately trying to cling on to something they never had themselves. Is it possible to feel more compassion for ourselves and others? Look at the damage done to us as children? Can we see that our beliefs that divide us are the root of violence?

In a candid conversation with a parent (of one of my peers from SVS) she said, " I was living vicariously through [her] at her expense. If only I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have cheated her so."

Show Your Right One Love alison


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