DSM: Ответ: Watching My Bac

Anna Babina (annababina@yandex.ru)
Sat, 10 Feb 2001 21:56:22 +0300

Dear Dana!
Unhealthy relations may appear absolutely everywhere. I mean a crazy guy may
stick to you in public transport etc. At the same time communicating with
kids is always great if it's a pleasure for both.

When I worked in Moscow School of Self-Determination communicating with kids
outside the school was OK. We are still great friends with some students who
have graduated already. One of them even became my son's father in Crist! So
don't take this as part of your work. You have a right for personal
friendship with person no matter how old he is. The age is not a big deal.

Believe me, if you don't have any bad stuff in mind everything will go OK. I
came to work at school when I was 18! So I know what it is about.


-----Исходное сообщение-----
От: Dana Matthew Bennis <dbennis@umich.edu>
Кому: discuss-sudbury-model@aramis.sudval.org
Дата: 10 февраля 2001 г. 20:08
Тема: DSM: Watching My Back

>Hello everyone,
> I am student teaching at the moment, teaching 5th-8th graders in music.
>I would like to ask for your advice and input . . . This morning my
>cooperating teacher (the teacher with whom I am working during my student
>teaching) called me and asked me what happened yesterday with a student who
>I was helping after school. This boy has become attached to me, talking
>to me a great deal - I think perhaps he does not have a lot of
>communication with his family or friends, so I think it is great that he
>has me to talk to. And I enjoy talking to him and getting to know him.
>Yesterday he told me his Mom was picking him up late from school and that
>he told her he could maybe get some help from me after school (he plays
>flute). So I said, sure - I was free and I enjoy getting to know the kids
>better. So we played and talked for about an hour until his Mom came.
> My cooperating teacher called me just now and asked me what happened with
>him, and I told her we played a few songs and talked for a while. She then
>told me that although she doesn't think this is happening with this boy,
>there have been instances in the past when kids have stalked (her word)
>teachers with phone calls, emails, etc. And that sometimes a threat
>towards the teacher can result - it had happened to her, she said, and she
>knows that it has happened to many other teachers as well. She told me
>that I need to watch my back and be careful, always making sure that if I
>will be working with a student one-on-one (or with a couple students but no
>other adults in the room) that I clear it with the principal and the
>student's parents. Legally, she said, I am not supposed to work with a
>child without another adult present.
> I understand the precautions, and they make sense - I intend to follow
>them. But I don't like it. I'm not sure what specifically I don't like,
>but I do not like having to second-guess myself or the child, or to wonder
>if its "OK" to work one-on-one with a child. The door to the room we were
>working in was not closed, and others were nearby in other rooms. I
>understand that, and I of course don't intend to close doors and be far
>from other people when I am with a child. When it comes down to it, what
>I don't like about this is the implication that I should be wary about
>becoming closer with the kids and being an important part of their lives.
> I am wondering if anyone has comments on this. Does this sort of thing
>happen sometimes at Sudbury schools ("stalking" or threats)? If it would
>violate privacy, I understand not mentioning it. But it seems to me that
>if children are always treated with respect, as they always are at SM
>schools, then they will respect everyone else including the adults, and
>that "stalking" incidents and threats would occur much less often. I am
>being naive?
>I appreciate your help and comments,

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