Re: DSM: dancing

Anne and Theo Julienne (
Tue, 23 Jan 2001 17:48:52 +1100

There is no doubt that we parents "contaminate" our kids with our own unresolved problems and unlived aspirations. But hey, we're human. I think there are healthy distances and closenesses between parent and offspring. And there are unhealthy ones. We dance towards each other and then apart. We separate bit by bit as the time is ripe. And we make lots of mistakes along the way.
I believe that if you allow yourself to go through lots of doubt, if you strongly question a decision or commitment like this one to Sudbury, then you emerge stronger. There's a Chinese saying: "True gold fears not the refiner's fire." If you put your Sudbury commitment through the ringer and it stays firm, then it's a "golden" decision. If you don't then it may be gold, it may not. You'll never know.
I suspect it will be gold.
      I do believe that it is my problem. Since we disenrolled in traditional school my kids have been living happy, joyous, and free. They visited Cedarwood Sudbury school at the beginning of the month and were sold. (Too bad it's a 6 hour drive) They thought it was a great place and have told all who have asked how much they liked it. It was sort of spiritual driving up and seeing a lone student in the parking lot skateboarding. I have always felt so bad for the kids around town that just don't have anywhere to just do what they want to do. I know in my heart that it's right, it's just all of the programing that I have undergone. I know I will work this out.
      My oldest daughter graduated from the local public high school last year. This is a Los Angeles Public School with 2000 students. Starting in about 6th grade I tried to convince her to quit school. She gave it a try briefly but just didn't like it. (At the time, I wasn't aware of any alternative schools) She always scraped by with D minuses. I went through it for her. It was painful for me. She had a great time.
      As far as the money, I'm sorry I don't really know how your money equates. I really believe though that considering all of the material in the starter kit that it is a fair price at $400. I don't think that they can be making a whole lot of profit, if any at all. I also think that the Sudbury folks really are doing it as a service for our society. Everyone is sooooo careful not to say you should do anything at all.
      At this point, I agree with most of what the Sudbury people have to say. I just have a few doubts that I'm hoping will clear up with experience. (Also, I am a person that doubts everything.) If it doesn't work out I will still benefit from having studied about Sudbury anyway. Of the other schools I've read about it seems that Sudbury is where the kids are the most FREE.

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