Re: DSM: dancing


Anne and Theo Julienne (ajulienne@bigpond.com)
Tue, 23 Jan 2001 09:18:38 +1100


Alan,
I agree that communication is (at least) a "two-sided street". But I don't
agree that "The listener is totally responsible for my impact on them...it
is, after all, their construction." Good God! What a cop-out on your part!
No, come on. Impact is also multi-dimensional: it is a combination of what
you say, how you say it, the context, the listener's expectations and
constructions. Many factors. As a listener I'm not having the whole
responsibility dumped on me!
Anne

> An additional concern here is the difference between "intention" and
> "impact". I may INTEND to convey to you my principles (which are based on
> years of experience, reading, conversation, and thought). But if my IMPACT
> on you is that I am closed-minded, then I am unlikely to accomplish my
goal
> of communicating with you my principles.
>
> This is a two-sided street. The listener is totally responsible for my
> impact on them...it is, after all, their construction. But if I want to be
> effective in communicating with them, then I can't hide behind, "That's
not
> what I intended." I have to check out the impact I am having and adjust my
> communication accordingly; or give up and choose not to communicate
> effectively with that person.
>
> ~Alan



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