DSM: About offering something (was: dancing)


Marko Koskinen (marko@vapaus.net)
Thu, 18 Jan 2001 16:09:19 +0200


> I believe that offers are OK so long as "no" is always allowed.

I try to make this short because this issue has been discussed in many
occasions. The key is that why would you want to "offer" something? If
you truly trust your children, you don't need to "offer" TO them
anything, you can just enjoy living WITH them. People learn all the time
from what they see and sense with their senses and when you "offer"
something, you're telling the child that "this thing that I'm offering
is more important than what you're choosing for yourself" and "I am
wiser than you and that's why I am allowed to 'offer' you these ideas".
Both of these are coersive because they make the child feel that what
she chooses for herself is not that important and that the motivation
should come from outside, and thus the child creates herself some inner
coersive patterns.

I believe the idea of offering things is very similar to the idea of
education, and as I believe that no externally motivated education can
be uncoersive, I can't see how the "offering" could benefit the child.

Marko Koskinen
Finland



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