DSM: RE: pre-Sudbury parental conduct

Joseph Moore (joseph@ivorycc.com)
Tue, 9 Jan 2001 09:33:02 -0800

-----Original Message-----
From: cathy@indra.com [mailto:cathy@indra.com]

So how does one treat a baby when one espouses the philosophy of Sudbury?
Do you clap and say "Good job!" when the baby hits the peg on the head or
goes potty, or do you just look at them stony-faced? Somewhere in the
middle, I would think, but what is that? I'm interested in hearing how
people who have been through this with their own babies have experienced it.


We're another set of parents who went the attachment parenting => Sudbury route. I don't think about it too much any more, but we try to just be 'real' with our kids - I'm thrilled when they hit the potty - beats the hell out of the alternatives - so, I let 'em know. Hitting the peg - don't think it warrants a remark. I'm floored when they build or draw or figure out complex stuff, so I let them know. But I don't follow them around looking for chances to complement them, or get all "WOW!!!" for something that calls for a "That's a nice drawing - I particularly like the eyes."

More to the point - We send them to a Sudbury school so that they get a good 4+ hours a day out from under our approving (or disapproving) eyes. They can show us what they're working on - or not. They can seek (and get) our approval - or not. Up to them.

Seems to be a mutually satisfactory arrangement.

Note that I'm just a parent, not staff - and, in this case, very glad of it.


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