Re: DSM: Re: Subtle Coercion?


Alan Klein (Alan@klein.net)
Sun, 7 Jan 2001 20:17:28 -0500


Derek,

I understand and agree with your points, but I don't see that they
necessarily apply here. The "adult" in this case offered a book and the
"student" took it and read it. There was no external reward or punishment
involved and the two were operating as equals. The "adult" wasn't "doing"
anything for the "student". The "adult" was sharing her own feeling and
sharing her own interests. The "student" was free to accept or reject the
sharing.

~Alan Klein

----- Original Message -----
> Hi, Derek here from The Booroobin Sudbury School,
> There is a difference between a statement and a request for assistance.
> There is also a difference between leading and giving direction on the one
> hand, and responding to a request for assistance. The adult stated: >>she
> has little interest in reading. The response in a SVM environment would
be
> to acknowledge the statement. The person making the statement /
declaration
> wasn't expressing a need for help. On the other hand the other adult
> thought it was "sad". Doing things for someone else doesn't give the
person
> the means to work it out for themselves, and generate self-reliance. The
> other person will come to the conclusion when they see a need to read.

> > Someone (I forget who) gave this example of an adult-adult interaction:
> >
> > > > Here's an example: I have an adult friend who recently told me she
> has
> > > > little interest in reading. I balked at this as I find it quite sad
> and
> > > > offered that she try some children's books which are easier and
which
> I
> > > > frequently read myself. She did not ask me if I knew any good
> > > > ones or if I
> > > > knew where she could get one, but I took the initiative and offered
> "The
> > > > Giver" as I'd read it recently and really enjoyed it. She took
> > > > it and read
> > > > it and liked it of her own volition. Hers was the freedom to
> > > > choose to read
> > > > it or not to read it. It had nothing to do with my not making the
> > > > suggestion for fear of forcing her into it. That would have been
> > absurd.
> > >
> > Joe responded:
> > > Well, if by using this as a test case of something that would be
> > > inappropriate for a staff to say to a student, then you are correct.
> >
> > Joe (and others who may agree with him),
> >
> > I would like to hear more about your view of this as an inappropriate
> > staff - student interaction. It sounds perfectly reasonable to me. There
> is
> > no coercion and the other person brought up the subject. The "staff"
> person
> > simply responded with their own take on the situation and with a
> suggestion.
> >
> > ~Alan Klein
> >
> >
>
>



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