Re: DSM: Re: Subtle Coercion?


Sam Senteney (sambo@calweb.com)
Sat, 06 Jan 2001 21:32:54 -0800


Ouch! How unfortunate your relationships must be! Please speak for
yourself and not include others by default in your dim view of human
relationships. While I admit to frequent attempts at persuading others
that my way is the best way, they usually begin with " I think that", "I
feel that", "When that happens, I", as opposed to "You should". Telling
others what you think or how you feel something should be, is not
dishonest. I am not following the connection between someone being
coercive and not having an honest relationship. Is someone who tells you
they are trying to coerce you therefore not being honest?

At 03:57 AM 1/7/01 +0000, you wrote:
>People aren't honest in their adult relationships either and they
>constantly go around trying to coerce each other into thinking the same
>way they do themselves so I doubt that that would work at all.
>
>
>>From: "Joe Jackson" <shoeless@jazztbone.com>
>>Reply-To: discuss-sudbury-model@aramis.sudval.org
>>To: <discuss-sudbury-model@aramis.sudval.org>
>>Subject: DSM: RE: RE: RE: RE: Subtle Coercion?
>>Date: Sat, 6 Jan 2001 22:31:25 -0500
>>
>>There is an oft-repeated axiom among much of the folks at various Sudbury
>>schools I have been totally fortunate to associate with, that a good
>>guideline for finding that "fuzzy line" between leading a child and walking
>>alongside is: Is what I'm saying to her something I would say to an adult
>>casual acquaintance?
>>
>>In other words, I would not walk up to an adult that I had known for a short
>>time and say, "Hey, I noticed you working with a calculator yesterday. You
>>know, there's this great book on mathematics in the library."
>>
>>I might, however, walk up to a casual acquaintance and say, "Was that xyz I
>>saw you reading the yesterday? Oh, how do you like it? I read her other
>>book, zyx." etc.
>>
>>Knowing and being honest with yourself regarding your intention when you
>>speak to a student is likewise important. Avoiding the "seduction of the
>>teachable moment". :)
>>
>>-JJ
>
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