Re: DSM: Close Friendships

Robert Swanson (
Tue, 19 Dec 2000 17:41:21 -0800

Yes, Sudbury is so much better. How much time might a sudstudent spend
exploring one's own motivations, reactions and creativity for the purpose of
clarification of one's place and direction in life? And what happens in
response to this clarification? How does this show up at their graduation
speach? (And yet why are students so challenged by this experience?)

on 12/19/00 9:05 AM, Kristin Harkness at wrote:

> A couple of people have lamented the lack of close friendships in this
> country. I am not in a position to compare, since I have no recent
> experience abroad. However, I notice that the examples seem to be drawn
> from traditional school environments:
> Robert wrote:
>> A foriegn student, I don't remember who she was, but I remember what she
>> said about friendship. She commented how unusual it is to see people here
>> speak personally to each other. In her country her many friends freely
>> opened up to speak of their lives intimately. This brings closeness. She
>> did not understand that so few people here say anything personal.
>> Friendship as she knows it does not exist.
> CindyK wrote:
>> This is so true. When I was in highschool in Toronto we had a foreign
>> student also. She too marvelled at our lack of personal relationships.
> My life experience contains many close friendships. However, traditional
> school environments are not conducive to friendship, in my opinion. First,
> there is little opportunity to talk, which is the basis for friendship.
> Second, the people one spends the bulk of one's time with are the same
> people one is forced to compete with. My closest friendships were mostly
> made outside of school, and definitely made outside of school hours. With
> schools insisting on ever more homework, kids today have even less time for
> friends than I had.
> Sudbury model schools, of course, provide the opposite environment. Yet
> another reason I love the model!
> Kristin

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