Re: DSM: RE: Sexuality and Heartlight

Marko Koskinen (
Sun, 19 Nov 2000 16:20:33 +0200

> Well, as I said here recently, terms that describe something can build
> walls, but they can also promote understanding. For example, John Doe, by
> the simple act of attaching the label "alcoholic" (a wall-building label by
> the above definition) may have just saved and put him on a course for a
> rich, fulfilling life.

Sure, but the likelihood of helping people to understand the phenomenon
is almost non-existent compared to the effect how it builds walls. I
believe I understand what you are trying to say. The language is the
only means for people to comrehend the world, but it is very bound to
culture and mostly very limiting. I can't give you a better alternative
though, so I guess we'll have to settle with our language, but that
doesn't change the fact that language is a main factor in seperating
people from each other in our culture. And that doesn't mean that
language coulnd't bring people close to each other...

> > I believe that homosexuality is nothing else than people of same sex
> > wanting closeness from each other, which is totally natural. The sex
> > part is actually just cultural misunderstanding. I'm not stating that
> > people of same sex should have no sexual contact with each other, not at
> > all. I'm stating that it's just not an inborn need, it's a thing that is
> > learnt and thus can also be unlearnt. And once again I don't mean that
> > there is something wrong in homosexuality, I'm stating that there is no
> > such thing as different sexualities.
> Well, no disrespect intended, but one could say the exact same thing
> substituting the word "heterosexuality" for "homosexuality" and the phrase
> "the opposite" for the word "same" and the depths of the silliness of this
> statement become evident. No offense.

Indeed. I believe that's what I was trying to say. I mean that closeness
is a thing that people need innately to survive, but sex isn't. Sex is
needed for reproduction and for people it also means that it has a very
strong emotional aspect to it to make people passionately look for sex
and thus to make people reproduce. That's why it is no miracle that
people of same sex try to find that satisfaction from each other and I
guess there's nothing wrong with it. My point is that people try to
replace the closeness and the need to discharge their distress with sex
and hide that misunderstanding in the sexuality concepts.

I have been involved in sex with both sexes and I have found both
satisfactory. But I've also found out that sex isn't really the thing
that I'm looking for. What I'm looking for is love, closeness and
understanding, someone who to share thoughts with. Sex is natural and
nescessary, but it shouldn't be mixed with other needs.

> Is there a little ax-grinding happening here, Marko?

I'm not sure what you mean by that... English is not my native language
and I don't know what you mean by ax-grinding.


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