Re: DSM: public school prisons (sharing the SVS model, etc.)

Rick Stansberger (
Wed, 15 Nov 2000 20:08:55 -0700

Robert, I like you! Anybody who would play karate with a six-year-old in a buffet
line is all right by me!

Robert Swanson wrote:

> I remember going to a buffet restaurant with a friend and his daughter. The
> six year old daughter thought it was cool to start a karate fight standing
> at the buffet. I had only a moments hesitation setting my sense of shame
> and correctness aside. I chose joy. We had a thirty second fight. We didn't
> smash the place, but I bet many egos were upset. Nobody said anything, at
> least not at the time. What a memory - great fun. What's that quote...
> whether tis better to have loved and lost..? Any way, it wasn't a question
> of what SHOULD be, it was whether or not I wanted to be HAPPY.
> My point is this, what we relate to as self can either be based in
> egocentric fear/hate or based in intelligence-expanding joy.
> robert
> on 11/14/00 7:58 AM, at wrote:
> > In a message dated 11/13/00 10:11:58 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> > writes:
> >
> > <<
> > The really insidious thing about this kind of
> > education is that children get used to being respected
> > and listened to, and they really hate being patronized
> > and treated in an arbitrary manner -- this changes
> > family dynamics in huge ways.
> >>>
> >
> > Joseph,
> >
> > I see this so clearly in my family. We've raised our son this way, and he
> > expects respect from all people. This has caused much friction. When Joe
> > Blow pats him on the head in the grocery store or a family member tells him
> > to "be a good boy", he's not a happy camper. Even in a Sudbury school, if he
> > doesn't get it he becomes angry. (It does happen in Sud schools too, at
> > times.)
> > My question is this: What does a family do when 90% of the people out here
> > don't show respect to children, even children themselves?
> > Kathleen
> >

"Weirdness abounds and shatters our illusion of order.  Heh-heh.  All the
dust is being blown out from under the carpet. Wonderful stuff!"

Wanda Hamilton-Quinn

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