Re: DSM: A Few Questions from a Newish Mom [Heather McDougal <heatherdoodle@y...


Avenfeliz1@aol.com
Wed, 15 Nov 2000 14:11:38 EST


In a message dated 11/14/00 9:38:09 PM Eastern Standard Time,
sdg@aramis.sudval.org writes:

<< 1. I understand that every child has a voice in a
 democratic school; however, how do you make sure that
 a shy or introverted child gets their voice heard, in
 an environment where everyone is saying what they need
 to say? I always had trouble finding an "in" in
 spoken situations; I waited so long for pauses in the
 conversation that I never got to voice my feelings.
>>

Heather,
 My son is an only child and he's also shy. He has had difficulty finding
his voice in a Sudbury school school at times. I tried finding it for him as
a parent, but that only made things worse. It's a very difficult thing for
some children to do. And it's a very difficult thing for a parent to watch.
But ultimately, he must find his own voice.
He had such a difficult time sometimes that he resorted to more agressive
behaviors. We're "red-flagging" for a time so that he can experience finding
his voice at home a little longer, hoping that it will encourge him to find
it elsewhere should he desire to return to the school.

To cusion things a bit for children who have this difficulty, I've suggested
an ombudsman, following the Summerhill plan. It failed. So I know of no way
at the moment to make it easier for the children who have this to deal with.
Kathleen



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