Re: DSM: public school prisons (sharing the SVS model, etc.)

Robert Swanson (
Tue, 14 Nov 2000 16:54:08 -0800

I remember going to a buffet restaurant with a friend and his daughter. The
six year old daughter thought it was cool to start a karate fight standing
at the buffet. I had only a moments hesitation setting my sense of shame
and correctness aside. I chose joy. We had a thirty second fight. We didn't
smash the place, but I bet many egos were upset. Nobody said anything, at
least not at the time. What a memory - great fun. What's that quote...
whether tis better to have loved and lost..? Any way, it wasn't a question
of what SHOULD be, it was whether or not I wanted to be HAPPY.

My point is this, what we relate to as self can either be based in
egocentric fear/hate or based in intelligence-expanding joy.


on 11/14/00 7:58 AM, at wrote:

> In a message dated 11/13/00 10:11:58 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> writes:
> <<
> The really insidious thing about this kind of
> education is that children get used to being respected
> and listened to, and they really hate being patronized
> and treated in an arbitrary manner -- this changes
> family dynamics in huge ways.
> Joseph,
> I see this so clearly in my family. We've raised our son this way, and he
> expects respect from all people. This has caused much friction. When Joe
> Blow pats him on the head in the grocery store or a family member tells him
> to "be a good boy", he's not a happy camper. Even in a Sudbury school, if he
> doesn't get it he becomes angry. (It does happen in Sud schools too, at
> times.)
> My question is this: What does a family do when 90% of the people out here
> don't show respect to children, even children themselves?
> Kathleen

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