Re: DSM: public school prisons (sharing the SVS model, etc.)

Eduardo Cortina (
Tue, 14 Nov 2000 11:23:35 -0500

On Tue, 14 Nov 2000 08:16:47 -0700 Rick Stansberger <>
> This is very discouraging to me. I know you don't mean it to be.
> But I've
> found parents to be very difficult to reach when it comes to how
> they relate to
> their children, because that seems to be where they put all the
> unresolved
> problems and conflicts from their own childhoods. Lots of
> irrationality and
> knee-jerk response when you head into that area.
> If it's just a matter of spreading a new idea, that's not all that
> hard to do.
> But when the idea hits at the core of someone's existence and
> demands them to go
> through painful self-examination and change, it's no wonder that
> Mimsy said that
> parents who worried about their children in a Sudbury school were
> beyond help.
> It looks as if we're permanently limited to a small market.
> So in selling the idea of our new school, I can continually expect
> to come up
> against the irrational programming and "old stuff" type of issues in
> the parents
> I talk to? I hate the thought of just letting them go and looking
> for the few
> who are ready to have independent children. Any suggestions?

Therapy anyone?? Well, not that this would be a bad idea but I think if
you have people who are willing to consider the model and stand back and
take a look at their beliefs and possible misconceptions about learning
and education, there is a chance. Otherwise its probably just better to
let them go. I imagine that a lot of parents have grown and "learned"
from sending their children to sudschools, and what a wonderful benefit
to them as well.

> Rick
> Alan Klein wrote:
> > One of my most vivid memories from the first year of The Highland
> School's
> > operation in 1981 was a parent coming to us and saying, "You know,
> I used to
> > be the 'good guy' in my son's life. Or at least I was when
> compared to the
> > traditional public school he went to. Now, since he has been at
> Highland (a
> > democratic school), we are now the 'bad guys' with our various
> > restrictions!" These parents (and others) needed to learn a new
> way of
> > relating to their kids, who had now had a taste of real respect,
> freedom,
> > and responsibility.
> >
> > ~Alan Klein
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: Joseph Roach <>
> > >
> > > The really insidious thing about this kind of
> > > education is that children get used to being respected
> > > and listened to, and they really hate being patronized
> > > and treated in an arbitrary manner -- this changes
> > > family dyanmics in huge ways.
> --
> "Weirdness abounds and shatters our illusion of order. Heh-heh.
> All the
> dust is being blown out from under the carpet. Wonderful stuff!"
> Wanda Hamilton-Quinn

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