>I have been reading an interesting book by Alfie Kohn titled "Punished
>by Rewards." It is a large book with hundreds of references. Alfie
>has concluded that we should be very careful about praising other
>people. I think I agree with him when he says praising and artificial
>awards tend to cause two undesirable changes in the people being
I was also very enlightened on this topic by the book "Liberated Parents,
Liberated Children," by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. This book is over
20 years old, and is still the best I've ever read on relating to children.
I use it over and over with my kids, and keep learning from it as they grow.